

Use this sound for good luck
I’m Eminem’s real daughter. I’m gonna join a cult if I can find one. I’m googling ‘how to survive sexuality’ like Lohanthony. I’m doing subliminals to you


Lace Monster
“I reckon if I picked flowers the star power sucked from the ground like a naughty talisman — maybe the PH of the soil is altered by the amount of celebritydom decomposing, would my hydrangeas blush prudent pink?”

Rest in Pieces Bin Weevils
“Move over Club Penguin, there’s a new horrifically laggy, slightly problematic, bug-riddled, deeply iconic flash game to crash your parents' 2012 HP Spectre on.”

What if I wanted to be a duck?
I turned off my phone and went to sleep.
By the morning, it had 15,000 notes.


Eternal sunshine of the spotless alumni
It wasn’t until I opened an alumni account that I finally came to terms with losing access to my university emails.