This Subway Sandwich Quiz Can Predict Who Your Favourite Philosopher Is And It’s 98.8% Accurate

Words by Roxy Lees, Designed by Sophie Wishart

Did someone ask you who your favourite philosopher was? Did you get stuck thinking of a name equally pretentious and performative? Answer these questions to find out what your Subway order can reveal. Instant ostentation, no thinking needed! 

Disclaimer: Critical readers will note, like the philosophy canon, this list is very much lacking in diversity. The intellectual contributions of the fairer sex are simply too advanced to be contained by a sandwich or even by a university reading list. Any sort of equal representation would only outshine all the hard work of the boys. Thinking is hard for guys (and for Ayn Rand).