Specs of my core, Exploding outwards.

My upbringing is a memory, Of an ocean of what is and what isn’t. 

Inspired by works by Youssef Nabil, Shahin Alipour, Lalla Essaydi and Shirin Neshat, this series of photographs explores the beauty of seemingly ‘paradoxical’ intersecting identities; being from the SWANA region, queer, religious/ non-religious – a child of diaspora existing in the uncertainty between eastern and western culture. 

Lines of poetry exploring nuances of displacement, privilege and value of community overlay parts of the image, converging to create a collage of self-discovery and new-found belonging in those alike.  

1.

My upbringing is a memory, 

Of an ocean of what is and what isn’t. 

And I have now found myself further submerged, 

Below waves of asynchronous truths.

2.

I grow, 

From specs of my core

To the new 

Around me this apparent homeland 

3.

Do you see yourself in me? Do I see myself in you? 

I am still plagued with understanding and reconciling the two, between this interior homeland, and current homeland that loves and respects my dreams. 

4.

Once meeting you, I saw myself in you;

Our renewal through love and companionship and truths of our common world.

5.

Don’t forget this blessing. 

From waters of justice 

This ordinary abundance 

They wish for 

My people of the motherland 

Here and there 

I returned to belonging and gratitude.

---

Angelina Max Chahine is a second-generation Lebanese person who grew up in the Western suburbs of Sydney, Australia passionate about portrait work exploring identity, expression and connection from intimate settings to Sydney's music and rave scene. Their work explores a range of multimedia forms from photography, video and film in the event and editorial realm.

Growing up in a conservative Catholic environment (both familial and social) yet personally existing outside of the norms of Lebanese, Catholic culture has resulted in a journey of, what can feel like, all-encompassing displacement and hence, at times, a tumultuous relationship to culture. 

Models: 

Sara El Youghun 

Felix Officer-McIntyre 

Paul Zaki 

Lydia Adriaans 

Stylist: Sara El Youghun 

Assist: Felix Officer-McIntyre 

Words: Max Chahine  

Rewritten into poetry in Modern Standard Arabic by Junnade Ali & Jocelyne Chahine