Historical Hinge
Sick of modern dating? Feeling as though you were “born in the wrong generation”? Perhaps the love of your life is waiting for you in a different time period!
Cultivate your partner’s ideal Hinge profile and tally up your points!
Questions:
Together, we could…
A: Sneak out for a late night drive
B: Stalk our opps on LinkedIn
C: Write each other love letters <3
D: Catch flights and feelings ✈️
My typical Sunday…
A: Getting a meal with friends and hitting the gym
B: Going for a walk and picnic through Victoria Park
C: Drinks at the Courty and playing cards and pool
D: Hitting the big three: Bunnings, Flower Power, BCF
My most controversial opinion is…
A: Every couple should experience long distance
B: Open relationships aren’t as crazy as everyone makes them out to be
C: Despite the hate, beer tastes wayyy better than spirits
D: I could lowkey be convinced that the Earth is flat 🤷♀️
I get myself out of a funk by…
A: Benching double your body weight ;)
B: Birdcage Wednesday, Ivy Thursday, Sidebar Friday 😎
C: Spending way too much at Glebe markets
D: Putting down that damn phone and touching grass
The hallmark of a good relationship is…
A: Climbing through your window like a 2000s romcom
B: Getting along with the in-laws
C: Taking care of the other when they’re sick
D: If you can beat me in an arm wrestle
My biggest red flag…
A: Can be a little possessive 😈
B: Finance major…
C: Proud user of Head & Shoulders 3-in-1 😤
D: My decked-out mancave
The Results!
Answered mostly A: ANCIENT SPARTA, 3rd century BCE
If you’re looking for an adventurous, sporty individual with a love for their community, you’re in the right place. The Spartans come with a tradition of kidnapping you on your wedding night—perfect for spontaneous thrill-seekers. Downsides? Intense boot camp from age 7 and constantly being away at war means you’re perhaps not getting the most involved, emotionally-connected partner.
Answered mostly B: REGENCY ENGLAND, 19th century
Wanting someone suitable to bring home to the parents? Look no further than the ultimate huzz of Regency-period England (this one’s for the Bridgerton fans). Whilst this suitor may be excessively formal and most likely cheat behind your back, at least there’s nothing improper about the size of their bank account! Educated, respectable, and tears up the (ballroom) dance floor… as long as you’re alright with your in-laws having the final say.
Answered mostly C: MEDIEVAL ITALY, 14th century
For fans of friends-to-lovers tropes, Romeo and Juliet, or a simple small-town romance, then perhaps you should turn to middle-class medieval Italy. Don’t be icked out by the peasant life, though! Towns bustling with community gossip, travelling minstrels and great deals at the local tavern await. Unlike the elites, the lower classes had some level of love matches when marriage was concerned, so good news: you may actually have a say in who you’re marrying! Just keep the hand sanitizer close for that pesky plague. 😬
Answered mostly D: NEOLITHIC MESOPOTAMIA, circa. 9000 BCE
Deep breath in, deep breath out. Meditation lovers, DIY crafty fanatics, and those with a saved Tiktok folder all about hiking the Dolomites, assemble! Previously nomads and therefore travel-lovers, Neolithic forerunners are picking up a brand new technology called farming, meaning your future spouse is an innovator in their career. This is someone who will fight (literally) for you with their bare hands; I see you, Team Jacob. Just make sure you are really comfortable with a minimalist aesthetic…