White Girls Guide to: Being Woke
WORDS BY ELAINE JACKSON
Paris Hilton was the original #WokeQueen. Yeah, I said it, and I stand by it 110%. From her iconic ‘Stop Being Poor’ tank top, to campaigning for a healthier planet, Paris is the queen of being socially aware. Being #Woke in 2018, however, is a whole different story. Diving into the world of #Wokeness is like a Manning party in O-Week: strange, overwhelming (sticky?), and kinda intimidating. And that’s why I’m here – to give you the lowdown on how to be #WokeAF.
What even is being #Woke anyway?
According to the eternally trusty Urban Dictionary, being woke is “a reference to how people should be aware in current affairs”. To be woke is to know what’s going on in the world, beyond the drama spread in hushed tones at Courtyard. It’s not just knowing about Khloe Kardashian’s butt implants – it’s about knowing Kim and Kourtney were in Washington, speaking with politicians about mass incarceration and reform of the cosmetics industry (#WokeQueens, am I right?!)
How Do I Become Woke???
While being #Woke is about your own social awareness, it’s also about the look. Buy yourself some Birkenstocks, a Keep Cup, and one of those New York Times tote bags – single use plastics are so 2017. This will make you a real environmental HERO. During your Stuvac Netflix binge, forget Gossip Girl and Riverdale and hop on the documentary train – there’s one for everything from veganism to capitalism to teens in prison. Educate yourself, then passionately educate everyone in Courtyard on your newfound, enlightened perspective.
Once you both look and feel the part, take on the responsibility of telling every one of your Facebook friends that you support the victims of terrorist attacks with a profile picture filter. Let everyone know that you would’ve voted for Hillary. Retweet the shit out of Mia Friedman’s latest Mamma Mia article, because she is the #wokest. Click ‘Attending’ on the Socialist Alternative’s protests on Eastern Ave against price hikes for textbooks. Buy a ‘We Should All Be Feminists’ t-shirt from H&M and pick the perfect Instagram filter for your #OOTD shot while you sit around Law Lawns with the $6.50 iced almond milk mocha you just got from Taste. Whatever you do, just make sure everyone you know knows you’re #WokeAF.
Who are some #WokeQueens I can look up to?
Two words, baby: Taylor Swift. Honestly, when she came out as a feminist in 2014, I screamed in Lawbry. From her slay-ing of Kimye to her #Squad of Victoria’s Secret models, Taylor Swift is the queen of feminism (right??). And her friendship with Lena Dunham is so iconic – the two go hand in hand better than a MeCo student and a meaningless unpaid internship. And when they both supported Hillary Clinton: how much more #Woke can you get.
For some home-grown #WokeQueens, look no further than Clementine Ford. If you do nothing else this year, make sure you pick up a copy of Fight Like a Girl and post pages from it on your Insta story. Every. Day. When you need some inspiration, watch Julia Gillard’s misogyny speech a couple of times – make sure you tweet about it too! Whatever it is, make sure your followers hear about it.
So, ladies, it’s time to get in formation. Stand as strong as Beyoncé in front of the #Feminist sign behind her, and get #woke.