How to Tinder date on campus
WORDS BY WHITNEY DUAN
So, you’re in a really dull lecture and you’re scrolling through into that dark part of your newsfeed populated with statuses from people you were hoping to never interact with again after high school, but haven’t deleted because they’re also in that Monday arvo English lecture.
Suddenly, your phone lights up - a notification - you have been saved!
It’s a Tinder match! And they want to meet up some time this week?!?
Average looks, average profile, nothing to make you want to jump straight into a Netflix and Chill date with, y’know? But they’re only 1km away, and you don’t want to eat lunch with those friends-of-a-friend again.
So why not date at uni? Behold: your guide to places to go on a Tinder date on campus.
If it’s a brunch date, grab a table at this little haven on level 3 of the Wentworth building. Small and cosy, Laneway is a classic coffee date venue that, in the middle of the worst avo drought in history (or at least in recent memory - anyone got a hot source for historical avo shortages?), still slathers it on liberally - and we mean 1:1 avo-toast ratio liberally. Before the hours up, we promise you’ll be as friendly as the two poached eggs atop your avo on sourdough toast. Unless they’re not a fan of avo. Unmatch immediately.
2) Victoria Park
On a budget? Pop down to Coles at Broadway and get some bites for a picturesque picnic in Victoria Park with that Instagram-able Quad backdrop. Bring that two-week old loaf of bread for some cliche duck-feeding, turned intense eye-contact, turned grassy make-out sesh.
3) International Student Lounge
If lunch dates aren’t your thing, ISL is a hub of activities that will save you from those awkward silences that you can’t fill with chewing food or sipping coffee. Challenge your date at pool, play some board games (light-heartedly, tantrums ruin dates) and finish up by cosying up on the giant bean bags.
4) Manning Bar
If you need some liquid courage, Manning is your best friend. Jugs are $12 everyday and there’s constantly live music or performances which you can always hide behind if your nervous self says something embarrassing.
Added bonus: you can predict their personalities before you even get into the date by what toppings they add to their chips.
Plain = Really vanilla, but also considerate of what you want.
Chilli Beef and Cheese = Likes to spice things up.
Grilled Chicken Strips = Has no taste buds. Leave immediately.
Crispy Bacon = Anarchist.
Garlic Aioli and Cheese = Likes lactose.
Wasabi Aioli = Adventurous. Dinner dates will be great.
Garlic Aioli = Safe choice.
Gravy = They continue to the next level if and only if they got forks.
Doesn’t share = Oops, you forgot you actually have a tutorial now!
This is it. It’s certainly no Noma, but it’s as good as it gets on campus. If you’re a romancer, impress your date with lunch at Holme Building’s Courtyard Cafe with a table with a view over the traffic clusterfuck that is Parramatta Road. Order a glass of wine with your garlic pizza (natural aphrodisiac) and Pasta OTD to share and you’ll be re-enacting the spaghetti scene from Lady and the Tramp in no time at all ;)