Low-key other careers of kind of famous celebrities
WORDS BY BIANCA FARMAKIS
Ever since Gwyneth Paltrow enraged the world with vagina steaming machines on her million-dollar e-commerce business GOOP, the celebrity ‘side hustle’ has been a key topic of interest. Why did Meghan Markle feel the need to make a cookbook when she already got a Prince and Castle? Why did 50 Cent decide to make $50 million* on Vitamin Water? We can sit here and speculate that it satisfies a personal passion, or cynically dismiss it as their ‘Gordon-Ghekko-esque’ greed, but the side-hustles of the low-key celebrities we have an interest in feeds a natural, human curiosity to understand the style, interests and business acumen of our idols through something more than just their Instagram.
Or take solace in the fact that even A-Listers probably need more than one job to afford a property in Sydney.
JOHNATHAN VAN NESS
Claim to fame: Style guru on the Netflix Queer Eye reboot, general icon
Side hustle: Podcaster (can you believe?)
Success: For any fans of the show, you know JVN as the kind of vapid, full of life, spark of energy changing men’s images with the switch of a shampoo bottle. On his podcast “Getting Curious” which has been around since 2015, he tackles topics such as Sunni vs Shia Muslim tensions, the medical implications of Agent Orange on Vietnamese 21st Century children and menstrual cup distribution in third world female communities, all with the same flair and flamboyancy he brings to the show.
Claim to fame: Singing, then acting, then an Oscar which he can now rub in the face of Tom Cruise because he’s also dating his ex, Katie Holmes.
Side hustle: Avocado farming!
Success: For a guacamole obsessed, green-smoothie drinking state such as California, it’s great that Foxx can ride his pet horse Cheetah around and pick avocados from the 800 trees he owns. Legit.
Claim to fame: Parks and Recreation (Apparently funny? Please confirm)
Side hustle: Woodshop!
Success: Between five-minute appearances in random comedy films, the actor makes very nice wooden canoes.
Claim to fame: Tennis star
Side hustle: Interior decorator: V Star Interiors
Success: If your sister is going to become the best tennis champion to ever exist, you may as well design the super chic wallpaper that’s going to go up behind her plaques and trophies.
Claim to fame: Bassist from the Red Hot Chilli Peppers
Side hustle: Bee keeping!
Success: A man named Flea dedicated to saving the bees. This is the world I want to live in.
Claim to fame: Rapper, occasional cultural appropriator
Side hustle: Equestrian
Success: What started as a post-break up hobby has turned into a competitive practice.
Claim to fame: He was really great in The Hurt Locker, but better known as that superhero with a bow and arrow and no solo film from The Avengers.
Side hustle: Flipping houses
Success: Between indie films, Renner makes millions by buying a house, renovating it slightly, and selling them for three times the initial price.
BRAD PITT & ANGELINA JOLIE
Claim to fame: Do I even need to SAY
Side hustle: Rosé manufacturers (brewers, makers?)
Success: Mr & Mrs Smith may be no more, but I can say I have successfully drowned all my sorrows over it by drinking their incredible wine from their French Vineyard. They better learn to co-parent that investment, because mama needs a Rosé on a Friday am I right?
Claim to fame: Literally everything – music, fashion, shitty blockbuster films, make up empire and a charity dedicated to education
Side hustle: Journalist
Success: Okay Rihanna is not a low-key celebrity, but on top of everything she already does in this world, the Queen can claim another empire as a Journalist for The Guardian. She recently penned an op-ed regarding global education standards, and sure as shit got every single Media Communications student who drinks a long black daily’s dream job.
*Editor’s note: He was actually believed to make $60 - 100 million, it just didn’t look as good in the copy.