The White Girls Guide To: Dating apps
WORDS BY ELAINE JACKSON
It’s that time of year again: March. Summer’s over, classes have started again, and now we only have the blissful memories of our summer flings to tide us through winter. Unless, of course, you’re already on the #WinterBae and #CuffingSeason grind. You know, the person you ‘cuff’ yourself to at the start of winter, spend the chilly nights Netflix and Chilling with, then drop when the weather starts to warm up again. And the best way to find a Bae at Uni? Dating apps.
The Bio: More Challenging Than A Senior Unit Final Essay
So, you’ve downloaded Tinder and/or Bumble, and now you’re faced with the most pivotal element to your profile. The bio is often a make or break: it can be a conversation starter, a way for your potential baes to slide into the DM’s, or a grown-up version of A/S/L from our MSN days. You’ll want to put in some key pieces of info about yourself: your desire for a European summer travel or “off-the-beaten-track” adventure buddy, your arts (or glorified arts) degree and marketing/gender/American studies major, and how no movie has ever resonated as much as the 2005 rom-com Must Love Dogs.
As for pictures, I like to pick three or four. Don’t shy away from pics of you and the girls on the DF with a vodka lime soda in hand, or you and the girls getting acai bowls, or you and the girls at Balmoral beach. Guys love the mystery of group shots, but make sure you’re the hottest of all your friends – bonus points if you’re wearing cat-eye sunglasses for added intrigue.
To Swipe, or Not to Swipe
Once your bio and pics are sorted, it’s time to get down to business. Swiping left or right indicates your keen-ness levels; there is always the Super Like option, but let’s be honest, you don’t want to get married ASAP.
Swiping right or left on people can be a bit of a minefield. Your suggested baes are presented to you on a technological platter, sorted via an ultra-confusing algorithm based on their distance/age/hotness. So where you are when you swipe definitely matters. If you’re looking to secure a cutie who does Law at USyd, spend some time swiping around New Law. Or if you’re hoping bae comes from Engineering, venture to the Engo Grill and give your phone a workout.
Hey, How’s It Going ;)
If you’re ever stuck for a drinking game at pre’s before you head out to World Bar or Sheaf Wednesdays, head straight to Tinder and take a drink every time someone opens the chat with “Hey, how’s it going?” Extra points for emojis, references to your bio, or compliments on your hair/eyes/smile. I mean really, tell me something I don’t know??
The game’s different for Bumble though: women are forced to make the first move, or the match expires. Horrifying, I know. My hot tips for the approach? Be original, ask questions about themselves, and if all else fails, favourite movies and music is always a winner.
Genuine examples of how guys have started conversations with me. Clearly, I’m doing really well.
Could I, Like, Get Your Number Maybe?
You’ve hit it off with someone, the vibes are good, and your friends have all approved of the screenshots you sent. It’s time to take it to the next step. Get their number, then over the next few days slowly add them on all your social medias. I mean all of them. Instagram, FB, SnapChat, Twitter. Even check out their LinkedIn – you never know when you’re going to need that connection in your network.
When you’ve stalked their socials back to 2012, it’s time to take the plunge and actually meet them in person. Whether your idea of a perfect first date is a brunch at Henry Lees, two-for-one happy hour cocktails at Kuletos, or the classic dinner and a movie combo, always make sure you let someone know where you’ll be – better safe than sorry! And make sure you listen to some 1989-era T-Swizzle to get you in that young, carefree, yet meticulously crafted ‘cool girl’ attitude.
So go, girl, and get that free date. Best case scenario? He’s a good guy and you hit it off. Worst case scenario? Well, that’s why 15 of your BFF’s booked a table at the same restaurant to watch on. Be safe, have fun, and, most importantly, boost your followers on Insta.