Red Carpet Style Critique at The Red Pill screening
WORDS BY BIANKA FARMAKIS
Now don’t get me wrong – I’m all for free speech, sharing ideas and harmoniously chanting ‘kumbaya’ while negotiating conflicting perspectives. But when it comes right down to it, the only rule of law I live my life by is the Lagerfeld* law (*that’s Chanel for fashion, plebs) and I can promise I will police outfit choices with an eye more scathing than Miranda Priestly judging ‘florals in spring’.
While I learnt things I never would, and engaged in opinions I never considered, one fact remained plain and simple: there is no ideology and no movement alive and furious that aren’t liable to crimes against fashion.
They say the Devil Wears Prada, but at last night’s controversial screening of The Red Pill, I wore my Las Oreiro burgundy suit, strappy sling-backs and my clearest Bailey Nelson glasses.
Let me make it clear; political, social, economic and whatever other paradigms aside, after attending the Red Pill screening, I can safely say I don’t align with either end of the spectrums fashion ethos.
These are the kinds of outfits (and people) you can find at a (banned, then rescheduled, then protested) screening of The Red Pill:
SAlt & The City
SALT activists are loud, proud and very apparent, which is fabulous and essentially the three concepts that describe myself. But is it to the extent that all their passion and fire sucks the life out of their garments and results in seriously bland outfits? I think so. I’ll listen to your points, sign the petitions, hell – I’ll even chant the chants. But I can assure you, no matter how colourful you activists are, you’ll never get a MET Gala theme rocking last revolution’s wardrobe. Sorry not sorry.
The pseudo “Regina George”
I swear to God, if I saw one more person in cargo pants and flip flops I literally would’ve screamed. First and foremost, while everything old may be ‘new again’ it is not 2003, it never will be again and to the six or seven old white men I saw rocking this look, you cannot pull it off and you never will. I was personally offended by the fact that my childhood hero’s signature look that inspired a generation of women to rock the androgynous, ‘in’ trend of the moment was so atrociously replicated. I will not stand for this. I can fall down the Rabbit Hole, and swallow the Red Pill, but I cannot STOMACH this absolute grotesque manifestation of style.
Unless you’re Kate Moss in a ‘The Clash” tee, circa mid 1990s at the height of the ‘supermodel’ phenomenon, do NOT think you can ever sport a slogan t-shirt. Especially one that says, “Feminism Is Cancer”. Not only does it take a Cindy Crawfordesque grin to pull off the kitsch-contro nature of most slogan t-shirts, but it also takes her spidery long legs, and a bit more athleticism to run away from the ensuing crowds of protestors that will shame you. I’m all for pushing boundaries, particularly when it comes to clothes, but if there’s one rule of thumb that stands the test of time it’s this: edgy is in, ignorance is not.
The “Make America Great Again” Guy
Okay can I just rant? Not that I haven’t already, but let’s get one thing plain and simple: if you’re going to make a huge stink about how you’re watching The Red Pill because you want to learn about men’s rights and you’re not a misogynist, don’t wear a hat that endorses a misogynist. You must be exceptionally smart or stylish to hit that level of iconic garment irony, and I’m sorry sweetie but the only smart decision one can make in wearing that hat, it to cover up a dated crew cut.
So much Red the whole room needed a tampon
Burgundy is a staple of the winter/autumn wardrobe and I will not be vilified for working with my caramel complexion and doe eyes. However, I must say, for the sake of maintaining my image as an objective observer of the film, I personally could’ve picked a better colour than an all red pencil skirt-blazer combo. It was a sea of vanilla (with a speck of ethnic diversity) in the crowd last night, with a couple of characters clad in a not-so-sweet red velvet outfits. Kudos to Renee Gorman though, red is your colour girl and that is a pill I can swallow.
Minimal amounts of RM Williams & Ralph Lauren
I can’t tell if this was fortunate or unfortunate. The “College Combo” special was not present at either the protest or screening, (note to self: thank heavens my conservative couture weakness is still holy), but it would’ve at least brought the style average up ten-fold. Feel free to disagree with me, but I go Ga-Ga for Rah-La and no investigative documentary will ever change that opinion.
Paternity rights were one of the issues discussed extensively in the film, however even Darth Vader wouldn’t claim to be Luke’s father if he saw him pull out a vape like this one guy on screen. I honestly can’t even finish this observation. A men’s rights activist with a neck beard in the film pulled out a vape and I just wept for humanity.
Take me the hell home, I’m so done, dead and buried, pile my Vogue’s on top of me and put me in a casket.