Coffee to cure your architectural in(digest)ion

Picture this: you’re a burnt-out, sleep-deprived, UHU-addicted architecture student. It’s midday and you need a break. Studio is testing your mental sanity, History/Theory is making you feel dumb and your elective is a pain in the ass. And alas, the lights of Homebase are no longer doing it for you: they sear your vision and pierce your consciousness. Traumatic. You’re drowning in piles of basswood off-cuts because no one fucking knows what a bin is anymore.

What to do?

Grab a coffee, of course.

Coffee to the architect is what sexual frustration is to the engineer. A point of conversation, a particular quirk, one’s whole personality.

Coffee is the ambrosia of the modern age, the backbone of humanity’s productivity and the very lifeforce of every university student’s favourite activity – networking.

We felt a deep need in this troubled economy and fragile geopolitical environment to respond to one of humanity’s deepest and most anguished queries: where to find a caffeine boost when you need to escape the Wilkinson Building.

The three of us are highly trained, experienced reviewers (with three years of architecture school under our belt) who will now present to you the most serious and precise treatments of the local coffeehouses of USyd and surrounds.

Benito’s: sit-able at best

112-126 Broadway, Chippendale NSW 2008

“I’m not bringing a sneaky link here when Jesus is ten metres that way.” – Joseph

Unless you’re a plant and enjoy clammy air (it is a greenhouse babes), the trek to Notre Dame is not recommended. St Benedict’s next door is kind of cute, with the whole Gothic Revival sandstone and steeple vibe. The fluorescent fake grass might put you to sleep while you wait for your food which should’ve arrived ten minutes ago.

Coffeeability: No. Just no.

Foodability: No (the toastie took a hot minute but tasted aight).

Dateability: Absolutely do not even consider it.

Studyability: Surely not… no clue how Notre Dame students seem to survive without powerpoints.

Architecturability: The rundown greenhouse timber clashes with the black futuristic accents.

Final WAM: Barely a PS (attendance was def lacking)

Pride of Redfern: Circa 2015 Tumblr vibes and not in a good way

1/115 Lawson St, Redfern NSW 2016

“The boomer of the cohort.” – Aki

Don’t stop to eat here, don’t study here, don’t date here. It's an “on the go” cafe and that is all. The clash of textures, starry night ceiling, and 2015 quotes — “You may say I’m a dreamer but I’m not the only one” — on rustic timber… it should speak for itself.

Coffeeability: So bitter. Coffee window is cute though.

Foodability: Blueberry danish had a hint of garlic bread…

Dateability: Please don’t.

Studyability: I guess? They had power points.

Architecturability: Oh dear.

Final WAM: PS

Laneway: mid.

Level 3, Wentworth Building, Darlington NSW 2008

“The only place I’d trust with my taro lattes.” – Joseph

It gives the same vibes as SciTech: secluded, and only a handful of people go. This is the middle child of USyd’s cafes and joints; it is constantly overlooked and hardly anyone knows it exists. And if you don’t use the City Road Footbridge that passes it, we wouldn’t blame you for not knowing it. It is out of the way.

Coffeeability: Look. It’s USyd coffee. Don’t get your hopes up.

Foodability: Good range of sweet delectables and meals.

Dateability: Ain’t no way… if your date takes you here, dump them!

Studyability: Why study here when SciTech is literally downstairs…

Architecturability: Outdoor seating is highly disconnected from the interior and the circulation needs work.

Final WAM: CR (it’s giving underworked draft submission)

101 Kissa: kinda cute

94a Abercrombie St, Chippendale NSW 2008

“She’s a 10, but lives in the middle of nowhere.” – Aki

This place took a hot minute to reach from either Wilko or Central, but we stand by this one. The interior includes a cosy booth seating arrangement which sits against the street-facing windows. However, we strongly advise you not to lean too far back unless you enjoy diving head-first onto the bitumen outside.

Coffeeability: Was kinda sour and sharp, but we rate the Soda Lover.

Foodability: The croquettes were banging, though the eggs were a hit or miss.

Dateability: Very casual, very datable, and you can avoid seeing anyone you know.

Studyability: You can definitely get writing done in this space but definitely not studio work.

Architecturability: Has a consistent aesthetic with the timber accents, but could do without the recess lighting.

Final WAM: CR

Cornerstone: We see you UTS

638 Jones St, Ultimo NSW 2007

“Its fucking huge! [referring to the croissant]” – Sophia

She’s a little tacky. Despite the mismatched ornate seating thrown into a brutalist interior, the curved(!!) curtain wall glazing makes it a worthwhile visit. If you want a breather from your fellow sweaty USyd peers, this might just be the spot for you.

Coffeeability: Bitter coffee water, no thank you.

Foodability: The croissant was big. And good.

Dateability: Do so at your own risk.

Studyability: Highly recommended! Plenty of power plugs and a generous amount of seating.

Architecturability: The interior designer probably did university through COVID and it shows.

Final WAM: CR (has potential, but it's UTS)

Ralph’s: If Architecture Design and Planning had a conbini, but make it coffee

The Arena Sports Centre, The University of Sydney, A30 Western Ave & Physics Rd, Camperdown NSW 2006

“Cocktails from 11am. What more needs to be said?” – Joseph

A staple of the Wilko gang where you’ll see people during lunch or on the way to a lecture. It hosts an older demographic, but still has great vibes. It is decently priced, has a scrappy DIY feel, and is allegedly a great place to get some spare spoons, forks and chopsticks (but you didn’t hear it from us).

Coffeeability: Drinkable. The Vietnamese iced coffee will never be as good as Cabramatta, but is passable for a gentrified audience.

Foodability: Pasta galore, and a banger stuffed capsicum

Dateability: Look, if you go on dates on campus you should be banned from dating altogether.

Studyability: Dunno how you’d work at such a noisy place, but surely you could bring your mates along.

Architecturability: It’s giving massive sports bistro vibes: footy on the TV, metal furniture, and open venetian sliding doors.

Final WAM: DI (please love and sponsor us, Ralph’s)

Eatz on Abercrombie: Quaint

262 Abercrombie St, Darlington NSW 2008

“A literal oasis amidst the gloom of Abercrombie Street.” - Aki

Don’t be deceived by the garish purple street sign out the front. This super leafy and green and vibey cafe is such a diamond in the rough. Rustic wood interiors and ceramic ornaments make this super rejuvenating. If you’ve had one too many $3 ciders at Designer Drinks or have just pulled the third all-nighter in a row, this is the place to go.

Coffeeability: Sophia’s excited that they sell Stitch Beans (Aki and Joseph are confused on what a Stitch Bean is)

Foodability: The matcha, white choc-chip cookie was ok, but for some reason the water really hits different here.

Dateability: If you want a full D&M, or some quality alone time, this is the place to be.

Studyability: Possibly the most studyable out of all the cafes here.

Architecturability: Repurposed 20th century, inner-west terrace meets biophilic greenhouse.

Final WAM: DI

Terracotta: Delectable coffee, extra points for dogs <3

74-80 Ivy St, Darlington NSW 2008

“The dogs are out.” – Sophia

Tucked away behind the concrete, horny bunker that is the engineering building, is Terracotta. It’s an iykyk cafe that shows you’re a real resident of USyd. Their coffee is impeccable and consistent, unlike most things in a uni student’s life.

Coffeeability: So banger. They have their own roastery and always backflush after pulling every espresso shot! *chefs kiss*

Foodability: A decent selection, based on the general standard of being decent and not the subpar USyd standard

Dateability: Get to know your date in slightly uncomfortable close quarters.

Studyability: Too hustle and bustle to get any work done.

Architecturability: Very put together! IKEA minimalist with exposed timber furnishing accents.

Final WAM: DI (and they’re pissed off they missed out on a HD by one mark)

Stitch: It’s sexy and it’s architecturing

80 Bay St, Ultimo NSW 2007

“Our humble overachiever.” - Aki

Delectable. Impeccably furnished. With split flap display, warm diffused lighting, and modern rustic interior, this place has architecture students grovelling at the entrance. It's the perfect coffee date spot, plus the Pinterest-esque couches are there if you want to get a little closer. It’s also worth noting that they were playing Bad Omens by 5SOS.

Coffeeability: They know what’s good. Highly recommend trying from their selection of batch brews.

Foodability: Unfortunately out of the student budget…

Dateability: Assuming that you are on your best behaviour, 100% guaranteed second date.

Studyability: Not somewhere I would sit for extended periods of time.

Architecturability: Sensual and sexy, aside from the cad block bathroom. Final WAM: HD (again, the overachiever)

Final WAM: HD (again, the overachiever)

Sappho: If seductive thrifters were a cafe

51 Glebe Point Rd, Glebe NSW 2037

“This has big main character vibes, and as a protagonist I have the authority to declare it as such.” – Joseph

Where else in Sydney can you get a bookshop, gig spot, bar, and cafe all in one? Sappho might be the most stereotypical inner-city joint to exist, but that doesn’t matter because of how much this place slaps. It has this big ol’ Melbourne laneway, alternative, indie aesthetic. You definitely listen to some obscure jazz–rock fusion band if this is your regular joint.

Coffeeability: Pretty decent, and does not attract coffee snobs.

Foodability: Pancakes are very, very nice.

Dateability: Fun, but they probably think The Smiths is real underground.

Studyability: 100% could do anything and everything here, but there are no powerpoints rip.

Architecturability: There’s an element of mystery on top of having covered AND al fresco seating, tutors would eat it up.

Final WAM: HD (she definitely put in the hard yards all semester)

Toby’s Estate (flagship store): We. Love. Toby’s.

32-36 City Rd, Chippendale NSW 2008

“My wallet is crying but I am thriving (we have free coffee cards).” – Sophia

Down by the Broadway end of City Road, nestled between a run-down terrace and a loading zone, is the second home of architecture students – Toby’s Estate. At least one panda-eyed architecture student can be found there at any given time of the day (look out for those head to toe in black). Toby’s values transparency, hence the mirrors facing the island kitchen and the glass curtain wall containing the roastery. You can TASTE the high production quality and love that they put into their work. The cherry on top is that you get to choose your beans too!! (Ethiopia is always a safe bet.)

Coffeeability: The coffee menu (yes, you heard that right), the roastery out the back, and perfectly extracted coffees? This might be the best in Sydney.

Foodability: A very decent selection of brunch food and pastries.

Dateability: A cheeky getaway but not quite cute enough for a date. A better place for a catch up date with a friend.

Studyability: Aside from the blinding glare in the afternoon, Toby’s is a fantastic place to stay for a wee while. Power plugs? Yes please.

Architecturability: Straight out of an interior design magazine. We highly rate the timber and black finish combo, plus the curvaceous furnishings have some real beauty to it.

Final WAM: HD (the lad who gets featured in the lecture)

And thus concludes our highly scientific and accurate discernment of the particular phenomenological and gastronomic attributes of each venue of caffeine hospitality. We now assert our select choices for certain categories:

Best date spot

SAPPHO (close to Glebe Markets, it’s perfect for a coffee and thrifting date)

Sexiest interior

Stitch (that airport board-split-flap-display has us catching feelings)

Most bang for buck

Terracotta (get your loyalty reward card today)

Underdog

Eatz on Abercrombie (it’s what’s inside that counts)