Dear Pulp: Daily Routines and Discourse
Dear Pulp is a weekly series where we’ll solve your questions, dilemmas and disasters! If you have something looming in your life or a juicy secret you just can’t help but share (anonymously, duh), let us know via this form.
Dear Pulp, now that coronavirus restrictions are relaxing, I have to go back to work. This might seem good, but I’m not ready for a return to normal. I don’t feel like going to work and re-entering my normal routine. I’m stressed about how I’ll manage it, because I’ve got used to basically chilling at home and focusing on uni work. Help!
We’ve all had frankly enough changes to our routines in 2020. Back in March, our academic careers, work calendars and social lives were snatched away by the virus, and we had to adjust to social distancing, working from home, and a bunch of other dramatic changes to our lives. And now, just as we were getting used to spending all day in our pyjamas and communicating via Zoom, we have to go back to public transport and actual human interaction. As obviously good as this is, it’s understandable to feel conflicted. It might not be totally healthy to simply sleep in and collect JobKeeper, but it does start to feel pretty pleasant.
I think the main way to deal with your new reluctance re: work is to take baby steps back into normality. Given hopefully your exam period is coming to a close, your uni work should be starting to ease up, which means you can save your energy on that. Start to push yourself to wake up earlier and eat proper meals at regular times to get your body back into the swing of things. Now that you can, maybe catch up with your friends to get a dose of face-to-face communication (but remember to social distance!).
Also, don’t let the transition back into the workplace worry you too much. While it’s not ideal (very little of 2020 has been, really), you adapted to the first lot of changes, so you can adapt back. Once you’re back on your regular shifts and seeing your coworkers and customers in person, you’ll probably feel a lot happier. It ultimately is good for you to be more active and interact with people in real life, so you’ll likely find the return to normal feeling better quickly. But in the meantime, don’t be too hard on yourself.
Dear Pulp, I keep finding myself embroiled in online political arguments and I’m worried it’s unhealthy. Obviously it’s a very politically charged time at the moment and I have been trying to speak out as much as possible. However, when someone argues back I keep getting into hours long online arguments where I feel like I go nowhere. I kind of get a rush from them though. Is this a total waste of time and should I stop my argumentative instincts?
I don’t think you should stop posting and defending your political decisions altogether; political discourse is important and I think it’s valuable to be willing to debate your ideas and try to persuade others. However, in order to reflect about whether this habit is healthy, there are two questions you need to ask yourself: (1) are these discussions productive? (2) how are they affecting you.
Whether these discussions are productive should tell you a lot about whether you should keep having them. Ultimately, if no one is open to being convinced or arguing in good faith, it’s not worthwhile. This should cause you to reflect on how you’re arguing and who with: do you find yourself attacking the other person? Getting defensive? Would you be open to being persuaded by them or are you convinced you’re absolutely right? Conversely, are they actually interested in a discussion or are they just being contrarian? Do they seem to be taking your arguments seriously?
If, in answering these questions, you notice that it doesn’t seem as though your discussion is productive, it’s worth reassessing how those arguments take place. I’m not saying to ignore critique or dissent altogether (although you should ignore trolls), but I do think you should change your strategy. Here are some tips for persuading, rather than provoking, your interlocutor:
Don’t assume you’re right. Try to be open to changing your mind or at least making a compromise. This means you’re far more likely to genuinely understand the other person’s position rather than strawmanning or misunderstanding them. If they can tell you’re seriously considering their points, they may also respond more constructively
Identify shared values or things you agree upon, and build from there. Explaining your position in terms the other person can relate to will always be more convincing.
Be willing to provide evidence and explanation. You don’t necessarily owe someone an education, but if you really believe your political beliefs and want to persuade others, you should be willing to really expand on your ideas. Try saving links to articles that you found informative and breaking down your beliefs into the reasons why you believe them. This will help you to support your claims with evidence.
Don’t resort to insults. If a person is obviously unconstructive and not engaging with you seriously, stop talking to them. Using ad hominems will only prolong an unhelpful discussion and won’t convince anyone.
Try to show them where you’re coming from. If the other person understands how and why you came to believe what you do, they’re much more likely to respect your position even if they don’t agree with it.
That should help you ensure your arguments don’t descend into name-calling. However, you should also think about how these arguments are affecting you. They’re not inherently unhealthy, but if you are spending inconvenient amounts of time and energy on them, it’s worth changing your strategy. To improve the quality of these interactions, avoid responding straight away to the other person. Instead, take time to mull it over and formulate a clear and reasonable response. If the discussion seems to be going nowhere, feel free to simply say “sorry, I’m not sure this discussion is going anywhere and I don’t have time to continue it” and maybe recommend some further reading that doesn’t require too much interaction from your end.
Ultimately, political discussion is important and you shouldn’t stop doing it just because it can be hard. All the same, it can be unhealthy if you don’t remember why you’re having the discussion in the first place!